My thoughts on Toys 'R' Us closing down...

I am a parent, a toy maker and a toy collector. The news that Toys 'R' Us may close all locations in the USA is extremely upsetting to me.

Toys 'R' Us is not going away simply because of poor business choices or a lack of desire for toys in 2018, but because of the deliberate greed of a group of investment companies (specifically Bain Capital Partners LLC, Kohlberg Kravis Roberts and Vornado Realty Trust), Toys 'R' Us is set to go away completely as they loaded it up with so much debt that it is impossible to pay it all back.

While all this was going on, it became the topic of discussion in group on Facebook where a friend of mine made a comment that inspired me to reply to it. My reply was going to be short and have a hint of Dr. Suess' "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" in it. Particularly the part near the end where the Grinch is angered at the fact the Whos down in Whoville are having Christmas without their presents, decorations and other items. What started out as a small reply, became a kind of short story between two imaginary people at Bains Capital. Below is what I wrote.

"The Jerk & the Flunky"

by Christopher A. Negri

Bains Capital Jerk: *sees reports of busy TRUs everywhere* "Wow, the public are even more like vultures then WE are! They are really taking advantage of those Going Out of Business sales."

Bains Capital Flunky: "Umm, sir. Those are the TRUs that have not begun liquidation yet."

BCJ: "They....they are shopping there now? Without deep discounts?? Without pushing or shoving???? I can not stand that, I really can not! They were not supposed to shop there anymore, not one bit, not a lot! We carefully planned for the end of all toys! No more fun birthdays, not for girls or for boys!"

BCF: "Maybe sir, if you forgive me to say, people love Toys R Us. They want it to stay. These people are families, kids both big and small, and despite your foul plans they still come, one and all."

BCJ: "What!" the man shouted "No, no no! I hate all toys, they all need to go! I took out Kay-Bee in years past and Toys 'R' Us is finally, FINALLY ending at last!" 

The BCJ adjusted his hair, and straightened his tie, and the flunky stood there with a tear in his eye. 

BCF: "Sir" he said firmly "there is more to this store then you are willing to see. The store will live on without you and me. Toys 'R' Us is more then a name, more then just a place to buy a toy or a game. It is a place were a child can have so much fun, and perhaps if they're good, leave with a toy when they're done. Yes you did pillage the company of all of it's wealth, but there is still value there that you can't have for yourself."

BCJ: "WHAT!?!" he roared, his voice echoing down the hall "There is NOTHING left, I have taken it ALL!!"

BCF: "Not exactly sir" the Flunky replied "the love for Toys R Us stores has not all died. Generations of children 60 years deep, are returning to shop DESPITE ofYOU, creep!"

BCJ: The Jerk balked, he was taken aback, how dare his underling give him such flak! "What did you say?" the Jerk said with a sneer "If you keep that up, you're out on your rear!"

BCF: The flunky stood up, wiped the tear from his eye, and approached his boss with no fear to die. "You listen to me", the Flunky said, his voice free of fear, his voice free of dread "I was a Toys R Us kid back in the day, and MY father took me there often to play. Now thirty years later, I take my own son there, where he can run with nary a care. But you value only money, and care not what you do to get even more, buddy! I don't want this job, you can have it, I quit! I can no longer stand in spite of this shi-"

BCJ: "Now you watch your tone! You are WAY out of line! You don't want to work here? You want to quit? FINE. There is the door, I presume you know the way, I want your desk packed by the end of the day!"

BCF: The Flunky walked past the Jerk while he sat down in his chair, who then took out a comb and re-parted his hair. "Many of us thought what you do here is fine, but what you did to this Toy Store, that's crossing the line. I would continue to work here, but in recent years it has started to confirm a lot of my fears. You are a despicable person sir for all that you did, but for me, I am still and will always be, a Toys 'R' Us Kid."

The Flunky walked out, while his boss' jaw hit the floor, and with a sigh of contentment, the Ex-Flunky quietly shut the door.

~The End~

Toys 'R' Us has a purpose for all of us, for parents and children it is a fun place to go and for those of us in the toy industry it is a place where new products can get the exposure they need to grow from a small idea, to a huge success. If Wal-Mart & Target become the only place to buy toys, that will severely impact the industry and all of the thousands of Americans who work in it. 

I have seen toy stores fold up before, Kay-Bee Toys was most recent in 2009 with Child World closing up back in 1993. I remember going to both those stores, but my son who is due to turn 3 in two weeks will odds are never remember going into Toys 'R' Us with me and his mother. If all their stores close, by the time he is old enough to remember they won't be able to be a memory.

If you are also upset about this, let your voice be heard. Spread this and the truth about what these horrible companies are taking from our children and our children's children.

Fisher-Price Great Adventures Review: "Blundar the Giant" figure (1996)

Along with it's wave-mate, the Sea Serpent, this was a Great Adventures toy that stood out to me as a young teenager and now as a collector. I'm not sure why it took me the better part of 16 years to finally buy this guy off of eBay (yeah, what the heck was my problem??) but in April of 2016 I finally snagged him.

Oohhh yeah, this was a good purchase. Another childhood want finally satisfied. 15 yr old
me would be so proud.

Before we get into it, I just need to touch on the box. The packaging on this guy is utterly fantastic. All over it are drawings depicting knights running for their lives with a forced perspective inside the box showing the destruction Blundar has caused from stomping his way through the hillside.

It is as if a portal to another world lies inside this box and Blundar has stepped through it into our world.

The floor of the box interior even has grass with footprints, rocks and an abandoned shield from a knight Blundar pummeled.

Fun Fact: The castle depicted here is in fact the
Great Adventures Castle from 1994, down to the banners and everything. Well done Fisher-Price.

Run knights, run!!!

I also love how the scrolls with really fun
artwork show off what the toy can do and
yet do not break the illusion the box is showing.

The attention to detail is awesome here. The scenary that Blundar is standing on was created specifically for the photo shoot on the back of the box. So much craftsmanship for such a simple thing.

That box is just amazing, you can tell alot of thought and love went into it's design. A ton of fun that would be sure to get the imaginations of any kids going after seeing it at their local toy store.

So, for twenty plus years I've waited to own this toy, was it worth the wait? Let's find out!

Contents! What do you get??

Knight, Blundar, Talon & Blundar's club

For the 1996 price of $9.99, you get Blundar the giant, a big brown club, Talon the giant bird & a gold or black knight.

Loose Collector Reminder: When looking for Blundar loose on the secondary market, remember he always came with a knight so if someone claims to be selling him loose & complete and without a knight, tell them they are mistaken.

Okay cool, tell us about 'em!

Blundar the Giant: This guys is MASSIVE compared to the figures of the Great Adventures Castle theme. Standing at a whopping 6" tall, he's roughly 3 times the size of a standard knight figure and is almost 8" wide. A brutish behemoth, Blundar is ally to no kingdom and all knights need fear his crushing might!

 *ehem*

Anyway....

Blundar is a combination of two types of plastic with his head, arms and legs being made from some sort of rubberized plastic while his torso and waist are a harder type of plastic. This gives him a realistic feel and allows him to lay powerful pummeling punches (say that three-times fast!) on any opponents.

Blundar front view

Blundar Rear View (*ba-dum-bum!*)

Blundar Left Side View

Blundar Right Side View

All you have to do is grab his arm, pull it back slightly, put a knight in it's path and *BAM!* that knight will go sailing. One hand is a closed fist, perfect for punching, that can hold his 4" tall brown spiked club.

Blundar's club. Favored tool of mayhem by giants everywhere.

It is funny that I am drawing attention to this but it IS a very smart idea to design the accessory to work with the secruity features on the packaging.

This club is sculpted to look like wood with numerous jagged stones jutting out from it. On the bottom of the handle is a small loop sculpted to look like a metal piece attached to it, this doubled as a way to hold the club in Blundar's hand while in the packaging via a zip tie. I really give the designers a lot of credit with this, how creative to make the sculpt apart of the security twist ties then just drilling a hole in it.

Blundar's left hand is sculpted in an open position and he can hold and grasp a knight to either fling around or use as a club to smash into other knights.

Blundar: "Blundar crush puny knight!!"
Talon: "Leave me his eyes *squawk!*"

He's sculpted to be wearing a tan tunic with a net-like backpack and bedroll (odds are a sleeping bag or blanket), brown belt and a small axe behind his back. When you pick him up and thump him on the ground, metal vibrates inside his torso cavity making it sound like his footsteps are echoing throughout the land. This is a fun feature and very simply made without any electronics or batteries needed. His feet are huge and covered in teal fur that goes partially up his shins. Nice look and a clever way for the sculptor to sneak around not sculpting the individual toes on his feet.

Even with only 3 points of articulation (head turns, arms rotate around at the shoulder), Blundar is still a great toy and totally gives something for a 3rd friend to play with who is not affiliated with either the Heroic Gold or Evil Black knights.

Talon the Giant Bird: This is a cool little accessory for Blundar, and it makes sense a bird would hang around to take advantage of any food left in the giant's wake.

Talon Front View

Talon Back View

Talon Left Side View

Talon Right Side View

Not being a small bird itself, Talon has a 4" wingspan and stands just a smidgen under 2" tall. If each of these knights scale at 5 feet tall, that means this is one giant bird of prey; if this creature came after you, that'd be pretty terrifying. Talon was also sculpted with that classic Great Adventures no-eyes-for-you style and instead a furrowed brow serves as his only eyes.

Large yellow...um...talons(?) are sculpted in a grasping style so Talon can grab the bedroll on Blundar's back, perch on his arms or grab a knight to carry off into the sky.

Talon: *squawk!* "Can you fly knight? CAN YOU FLY!?!"

I'm not sure what kind of bird he is supposed to be, but that is not critical to having fun with him. Great companion piece to this giant, simple yet effectively done.

Random Gold or Black Knight: Okay, this is where you completionists out there might loose your minds. Blundar was packed with a knight zip-tied to his open right hand, so every MIB sample of this toy comes with a knight....which style knight and what color said knight is, is completely random. I have scoured the internet and only found 3 MIB photos of this set, (one of those photos being from the eBay auction I won my set from) and each set included a different knight: one had gold knight with a sword (as seen HERE on ThisOldToy.com), another had a gold knight with a flail (seen HERE) and the last had a black knight with a mace (see..well, this review). And that's just what I discovered, I have litterally no clue how many different knights were packed in with this giant.

Black Mace Knight: ready for battle!

I always call these knights the 'Knights of the Yellow Dragon". Also, fun fact: this same dragon is sculpted onto a pendant on top of the Dungeon Trap play set.

With 8 different knights, 4 gold & 4 black, that would mean there could be a total of EIGHT variations of this set. AND this line is virtually un-documented except for thisoldtoy.com and 1 or 2 old websites, so finding definitive information is very difficult. Happy hunting! :-D

That all being said, my knight is pretty cool, nice sculpt on the armor and a good pose on his weapon arm to let you smack enemies easily.

Should I try to get this brand new?: Absolutely, without a doubt. If you are a fan of packaging and the art and the creativity that goes into it, do no pass up the opportunity to get this MIB. Prices vary again because this line is not "hot" and collectors for it are not actively trying to search for the stuff. Some are I am sure, but more people are into Imaginext, Playmobil or Adventure People then these toys.

If you want to see Blundar 'in action!', check him out on my YouTube channel:

So what do you really think about it?: This set is amazing, from the sculpting to the simple yet fun action features and accessories. What I really like about it is the imaginative play value of Blundar & Talon: this guy is a destructive force in Great Adventures land and enemy to everyone allowing for all sorts of fun ways to play with him and your collection. It's been a long time coming, but I am very happy to finally own him, money well spent!

Mace knight: "Have at thee giant!"
Blundar: "Oooo me favorite game- 'Whack-A-Knight'!
Mace knight: "Crapbaskets."

Matchbox 1994 Carnivores Bite Wing toy review

This is a review I had done sometime during the Summer of 2016 and I completely forgot about it. I had wanted to do a few different creepy kinds of toys for the month of October, but making the content for both here and over on YouTube can be a huge task to achieve. So, as I even had the video sitting there ready to go, I put the finishing touches on and here we are.

This toy line is one I distinctly remember seeing commercials for back in 1994, but I never actively sought any out some to buy. Come to think of it, I never really saw any at the store. I was much more into Hot Wheels' Attack Pack toy line which I presume was why Matchbox created the Carnivores.

If I saw this thing flying above me in the sky, I'd run for cover ASAP.

Contents! What do you get??
Unlike most of the Carnivores toys, with Bite Wing here you actually get some accessories. Namely, two "parasite bombs".

Okay cool, tell us about 'em!

Angled Left Side View

Angled Right Side Rear View

Rear View

These toys take the whole concept of a Monster Truck creature that Attack Pack did to the next level where these are less creatures hidden inside vehicles, but vehicles that are in fact creatures themselves. Every one of the Carnivores in this line looks like they were merged with mechanical components and brought to life in Dr. Frankenstien's lab.

The two Parasite Bombs are what drew me to this Carnivore, aside from it's ability to fly. I....I am at a loss for words. Without a bio or any sort of info I have no clue what the heck these things are supposed to be. Wingless bat mutants? Actual parasites for the Bite Wing creature?? Babies of Bite Wing??? It's a mystery for sure.

I dunno what a "parasite bomb" is exactly, but it does NOT look like something good..

Front Angled View

Angled Rear View

Should I try to get this brand new?: 
The winged propeller on the top of Bite Wing does not look incredibly durable so I could see parts of it being broken off or missing on loose samples that where heavily played with. Also, the two included Parasite Bombs could get lost or misplaced if a seller or toy dealer has no idea they are supposed to be included. Prices on eBay for MOSC (mint on sealed card) samples vary so you can grab it for maybe $20 or less.

Potentially fragile piece! Handle with care!

So what do you really think about it?:
I like it! It is a bit more beastial then Hot Wheels' Attack Pack toy line, but the quality always seemed more prevalent on the toys VS Matchbox. That being said, this toy is fairly durable for the year it came out.

If you want to see a video review with this toy in action, check the video below:

Fisher-Price Great Adventures Review: Dungeon Trap Set (1996)

Great Adventures...the one that got away....until eBay & disposable income that is. This line was out when I was 14 and still into TMNT, X-Men, Attack Pack & other lines of the time. My father was not a fan of me playing with toys (he felt it was for younger kids) so the chance of me coming home from Kay-Bee Toys or Toys 'R' Us with anything marked Fisher-Price (aka in the preschool section) was not even in the realm of possibility. What was worse is my sister was just about 10 so she had no interest in A) boys toys or B) toys aimed at 3 year olds.

Years past and the line came, went & Imaginext grew to take it's place but I missed out on all of it. My first exposure to it was from my friend Andrew who saw this very set at a yard sale and instantly thought of me. Three dollars later and I finally had what I had wanted over a decade ago.

Great Adventures figures scale well enough with their newer Imaginext cousins, but the design aesthetic is vastly different. They all have this look where the eyes are always covered or hidden, and they use it on 99% of their figures so I presume the head of this toy line had a specific vision or look in mind for it.

Speaking of Imaginext, here is a quick comparison shot with one of their Blind Bag figures from 2016 so you can see the differences.

So a knight, a crash test dummy and a skeleton walk into a bar...

The Dungeon Trap set was made in 1998, the year before Great Adventures underwent a slight change in both design and play features. So, in a way, this was one of the last Medieval theme sets that stayed true to the look and feel of the original 1994 line. Is it worth buying? Let's take a look!

Contents! What do you get??

Great Adventures Dungeon Trap set...castle & rest
of dungeon to connect to this not included.

You receive, one gray hooded knight wielding a war hammer, 1 white skeleton wielding a red bone pick-axe (or maybe a scythe?), a gold key and the dungeon trap mini-play set.

Okay cool, tell us about 'em!

The Knight: Unique among the knights of Great Adventures, this one is a mix of silver, gray, purple and brown. He totally reminds me of a Dungeons & Dragons character ready to go on a dungeon crawl in search of treasure. His armor is mostly a full body suit of purple scale-mail with bits of gray plate-mail over that. He also is wearing a gray hooded tunic, silver skull cap helmet and a backpack with  brown belt across his chest. With his mouth being covered by a rather large, red mustache this figure is really a lot of fun and adds what could easily be a specific character to your adventures over another generic knight.

Knight- Front View

Knight- Rear View

Knight- Right Side View

Knight- Left Side

Knight getting jiggy with it.
Two points of articulation
only goes so far people!

The Skeleton: Holy cow, is this thee most articulated Great Adventures figure ever? Why, I believe it might be! With swivel joints at the neck, both shoulders AND the waist, this random skeleton has it all. Not a tremendous amount of paint apps save for the red scythe (or is it a pick-axe??) and gold key molded into his hands. Eye paint would have been good, but the sockets are deep enough that some shadowing helps make them appear darkened.

Skeleton Front View

Skeleton Rear View

Skeleton Right Side View

Skeleton Left Side View

There are some other details sculpted onto this figure, of note particularly is the un-painted armored shoulder pads and the key looking like it's made out of a bone (so is it a....skeleton key!? :-D).

Painted shoulder armor not included.

The Dungeon Trap: A simple little mini-play set, I wish it was able to attach to the Castle or Magic Castle in some way as it looks as if it were intended to do that or was taken off of another planned play set and left as a stand-alone item. Whatever the case, it is a nice piece and is very useful for expanding the line a little bit. Black cell bars can be opened easily and a rock on the wall of the set can cause the top floor to collapse and trap any helpless adventures inside.

Dungeon Trap Front...

.....and Interior. *cricket chirps*

 The detail they packed into this little piece is extremely impressive too. The inside is barren and devoid of any sculpted detail whatsoever (see above photo), but you can overlook that part.

The top is littered with gold coins and some bits of golden jewelry along with some kind of little creature sculpted into the stone.

I guess they did not have it in the budget to paint those two coins on the bottom right. Sorry two coins.

To the left of the cell bars (the Right side of the Dungeon Trap) we see a snake, a skull wearing a crown and random carvings along the bottom. Could be a secret code the sculptor left behind or something else entirely....

Pretty sure that is supposed to be a snake and not a snake carving, but what the hell do those lines on the bottom mean??? The world may never know...

The opposite side is also cool with a spider, the Fisher-Price logo and a black stone with a hand sculpted on it. Pushing this allows the trap to be sprung, and send a helpless adventurer a few inches to his doom...but not really as they can just walk around it.

Watch out for spiders, don't push your hand on the black stone and beware the Fisher-Price logo.

The cell door even has details packed into it, and these I just noticed while photographing it for this review. Surrounding the key hole are little skulls..

Skeleton keys only.

But the coolest part? Along the top & bottoms of the doors are the tops of dragon heads complete with fire erupting from their nostrils!

Now THAT, is what I call an attention to detail. Kudos on you random Fisher-Price sculptor from 1998!

The figures interact with the trap really well, despite there being not many gimmicks.

Get it, Skeleton key???? Hahaha!...wait, don't close the window, I really need the views!!

Don't worry, the knight landed on his backpack full of treasure and other equipment.....actually...better call 911.

Should I try to get this brand new?: If you can find it for a good price, of course. From what I see online, the packaging was done very well and I am upset I did not get a MOC sample for the review. If in good condition, loose is not a bad way to go.


So what do you really think about it?: This is a fun little set to get your feet wet with the Great Adventures line and if you are a fan of skeletons you NEED this set. Skeletons were only made available in 3 different sets in all of Great Adventures (and 1 set was only released in Europe, more on that little gem when we get to the Pirate theme...) and this is easily the best one.

As I understand it, this set is a bit later in the line's history along with the Lost at Sea & Fool's Gold sets so distribution on it was less, hence MOC sets can vary in price. There really not many Great Adventures collectors out there so it should not be too hard to score although you may encounter a few sellers who think it is dipped in gold.

Whether you get it new or used, pick it up and you will have some fun.

Knight: "Blast! I appear to be...trapped!!"
Skeleton: "Yes, you totally can't walk around the sides either, so don't try it buddy!"